9. Fighting the Feelings

Monday February 4, 2002

Marah lies on her bed as there is a knock on the door. Expecting Tony, she is disappointed to see Ben on the other side. He asks her what’s wrong and utters a sincere, “You can tell me anything.” He massages Marah’s shoulders and asks if she trusts him. He reminds her that he tells her everything. Marah says he is a “good friend” but she can’t say anything until she “knows for sure.” Ben is confused, but respects her privacy. But, he hopes they can be “more than friends…” whenever Marah needs him to be.

Tony finds Catalina in an exam room at the Women’s Clinic. He rushes in, followed by a nurse who threatens to call the police. Catalina says it’s ok and would like a minute with Tony. The nurse leaves and Tony explains that Ray told him everything. He said she wasn’t thinking straight so he had to come find her. He can’t believe she didn’t tell him the truth. Tony takes in his surroundings and panics. Catalina says a heart-felt, “I’m sorry,” and hugs him. Tony can’t believe she went to the clinic to “take care of the problem” without talking to him first. He says it was a mistake. Catalina realizes that Tony thinks he was too late and tells him this was only a consultation visit – she is still pregnant. He asks her why she thought that was the only option. She says “because you don’t want to be with me.” An angered Tony demands that she promise she won’t go through with it. Catalina exclaims, “What other choice do I have?” Tony says they will get through this together. Catalina says it is not his decision because he broke up with her and now it is her problem to take care of, even thought it goes against everything she believes in… But, she admits, “It’s a way out.” Tony wants to talk first, so they head to Company where Tony confesses his relief at arriving at the clinic on time. He knows that what Catalina did was not like her at all. Catalina says she could not do this to Tony – force him to stay with her because of her situation. Tony says, “Just because we broke up, it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you… we’re still friends.” Catalina reminds him that she has school and two jobs, and she can’t raise a baby alone. Tony admits that if they stayed together, it would only be for the baby. He is flustered and says he needs time to think. He makes her promise not to return to the clinic. He apologizes and offers to take her home.

Catalina and Tony enter the dorm to find a concerned Marah. She tells her she is fine and that Tony got there in time. A bit uncomfortable, Marah leaves them alone. Tony apologizes, saying that Marah only knew what was going on because he was with her when Ray told him the news. Catalina thanks Tony for caring enough to stop her. They say goodbye. Tony meets Marah in the hall and he tells her he needs time to think about all that has happened. He promises to let her know what he decides. They go their separate ways, as an eavesdropping Ben leers in Tony’s direction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDppZ3eiJ7I

Wednesday Feb 6, 2002

Catalina enters Tony’s office. She tells him she is feeling weird twinges in her stomach. She wants Tony to go with her to the hospital. At the hospital, Catalina thinks they may get to the see the baby if they give her an ultrasound. Tony thinks that is the thing the mother should see the first time around. Tony exits to go to see Danny.

In the dorm room, Marah’s tries to study. Her mind wonders to the kiss she and Tony shared. Ben enters the dorm room with a pizza and said he could not stay away. Ben wants to know what is wrong, but Marah won’t tell him. Then Marah tells Ben that Tony wants to give it another try. Ben is slightly shocked, and said he thought something was starting to
happen between them. Marah still wants to get back with Tony. She tells Ben that Catalina is pregnant. Ben says he knows what he can do about it. He reminds her about the situation she is getting involved in with Catalina being pregnant. He wants to know if she is willing to include this child in her life. He reminds her that someone will have to explain to this child later why Tony is not married to his/her mother. Marah becomes frustrated and turns away. He tells her she is getting involved in a bad situation. Ben said he would back off and give her space. He wishes her good luck. Ben said she couldn’t have them both. Sam enters dorm room. Ben exits and says good-bye to Marah. Sam knows she still has feelings for Tony. Sam suggests she call Tony and put the rest of them out of their misery. Marah said to drop it. He tells her he is leaving to go to Journalism school and he came to say good-bye. She wishes him good luck and to write good stories. He tells her there is still some journey left between her and Tony. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her to take care of herself. He exits.

After Sam leaves, Tony shows up at Marah’s dorm room door. He tells himself that Marah deserves better. He leans against the door. Marah is leaning against the door inside of her room. Both are deciding what to do and how to deal with their feelings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1qmBAW0XNE

Thursday February 7, 2002

Marah goes to Company to order a picnic lunch for her date with Tony. As she’s leaving the restaurant, she daydreams about seeing Tony with his son and realizes that she cannot keep him from his obligations. When Tony arrives at Company, Marah tells him that they cannot be together, and gives him the St. Anthony medallion he had give her. Tony doesn’t want to say good-by and tells Marah “It’s always been you.  I will never stop loving you.” But Marah is insistent, telling Tony “we have to let go.” Meanwhile an optimistic Catalina is tells Ben that Tony will give up Marah for the mother of his child.

Tony goes back to Inferno where he finds Catalina and gives her the St. Anthony medallion and tells her he plans to do right by her and the baby. It seems her plan has worked out, after all. Always the one to be at the right place, Ben arrives at Marah’s dorm room just as the distraught young woman is returning home. When Marah tells him that it’s over between her and Tony, Ben sticks around to comfort her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0IwmF_0BkI

**When it happened I was angry that Tony gave Catalina the St. Anthony’s medal.  Afterall, it was a symbol of the love between him and Marah.  But as Marah is taking off the medal Tony’s heart is breaking.  “I will never stop loving you. What are you doing? No, no. Please, Marah, don’t do that. Marah. Please. No” Marah wanted Tony to give it to his son because Tony belonged to him now, Forever.   But NOW I see him giving the medal to Catalina as the equivalent of using the same engagement ring for two women.  Even Catalina knows it was Marah’s first but she’s so blind to getting what she wants that she ignores the fact that it is a symbol of love to another woman.  A woman he would be with if Catalina wasn’t lying about being pregnant.**

Wednesday February 13, 2002

Reva and Josh are at Company. Josh is reading in the newspaper about the issue in St. Cristobel regarding voting for the monarchy. Josh said they could go back to St. Cristobel if they wanted to, but Reva says no. Marah enters Company and goes over to Josh and Reva. Marah tells them that she has exams on her mind. Then she confesses and tells them that Tony is on her mind. She informs them that there will be no Tony ever again. Marah said it was her fault because she thought there was something with Tony when there wasn’t. Reva reminds her that there are other guys out there. Reva wants her to have fun and an uncomplicated life. Ben entered Company and Marah smiled. Ben comes to the table and Reva
cannot believe how he has grown up. Marah exits to take a phone call. Ben said that getting to know Marah has made coming back to Springfield a pleasure. Reva said she has two tickets to the Valentine’s dance at Towers and offers them to Ben. Ben exits. Josh feels it would be good for Marah to go out with Ben.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pznXulTwemM

Catalina enters dorm room and Marah asked her where she got that necklace. Catalina said that Tony gave it to her. Catalina talks about the pregnancy and she wants to talk to Marah about it. But Marah doesn’t want to talk about it. Marah says she wants to know about her and Tony when Catalina was at the clinic. Marah says that he came to the dorm room to see her and they just talked.

Tony and Romeo are standing outside of dorm room. Marah enters. Tony tells her he came by to see Catalina. Romeo said he drove him there because Tony’s car was in the shop. Marah exits. He tells Romeo to go make the deliveries. Catalina says she needs to go take a shower and she will be right back. She tells him to wait for her. Sadly, he opens the ring box and shakes his head. Catalina thinks there is something else on his mind. Catalina shows Tony two tickets to the Valentine’s dance at the country club and wants to know if he wants to go. He says it would be a good night just for the two of them. Catalina questions Tony as to what is on his mind. He said it would have to wait.

Thursday February 14, 2002

Catalina is thrilled to be at the Valentine’s day dance with Tony. When Catalina steps away from the table, Tony removes the engagement ring he plans to give her from his pocket. With his usual flair for being in the right place at the right time, Ben spies the ring and, of course, comments on it. An irritated Tony warns Ben to keep quite about what he just saw –and Ben promises he “won’t say a word to the bride to be.” Later, when he offers a chilly Marah his coat, Ben “accidentally” picks up the wrong one. Marah finds the ring and realizes it’s Tony’s coat.

 

Friday February 15, 2002

At the Valentines dance, a sobbing Marah tells Ben she wants to leave. Ben apologizes for grabbing Tony’s jacket instead of his own – he never meant to ruin Valentine’s Day for her. She cries, saying now that she’s seen the ring Tony intends to give Catalina, there is no hope that she’ll ever be with him again. Ben tries to convince her to stay, to prove to Tony that she can have a good time and move on as he has. She just wants to go back to the dorm. He agrees to take her home after he gives Tony his jacket. Ben finds Catalina and tells her not to come back to the dorm as he and Marah will be there. She asks him if he even cares about Marah, or if it’s all about the “stupid bet.” He looks at Marah across the room, talking to Tony…

Marah says that she is leaving and just wants to “curl up with a good book.” Tony asks, “a book?” (Doesn’t she really mean Ben?). She reminds him that Ben is a good guy. Tony asks that if he wasn’t with Catalina, would Marah still be with Ben? She refuses to answer, saying things are different now. She tells him she will move on as he has (knowing he is going to propose to Catalina). She and Ben leave Tony, helpless.

Tony asks Catalina if they can leave. He will take her back to the dorm. She says she doesn’t want to go back there as there has been a lot of tension between her and Marah lately. She will stay at Company. Tony says the mother of his child is not going to stay at a boarding house – what if she needs a doctor again? He insists, reluctantly, that she stay with him tonight. Catalina doesn’t want to put him out, even though she knew he would offer.

At the dorm, Marah and Ben discuss virginity. Marah feels embarrassed about her essay – says maybe she was just hiding behind it to avoid getting close to people. Ben says she should be proud for knowing who she is and what she wants. Marah mentions that her mother is a strong woman who didn’t need to hold on to her virginity to find out what she wanted and to be successful. She adds that Catalina knew what she wanted so she slept with Tony… now she’s pregnant and he’s going to marry her. It worked. Marah admits she regrets playing it safe – was it really empowerment, or just fear? She realizes it was only an excuse to push people away. Ben asks her not to push him away. Marah is not scared of him; he’s a friend. She admits she is afraid of being rejected and of being left “afterward.” Ben moves closer to her as Marah says it’s time she came out from behind her essay and started living. They kiss…

Catalina enters Tony’s bedroom. Tony looks at the ring and hides it when she asks him what’s wrong. He says he needs to tell her how he’s feeling… about Marah. He says that things
are definitely over between them because things are different now. Catalina is his future. He shows her the ring. Cat is in shock as she asks him to put it on her finger. She says yes and hugs him, saying she loves him more than she can ever say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4q0MVveICI&list=PL9F0D554173FFF91D&index=106&feature=plpp_video (February 14 & 15)

Monday February 18, 2002

Tony proposes to Catalina, promising to take care of her and the baby. Catalina says yes, and hugs him, but stops herself. Tony asks what’s wrong, “I thought this was what you wanted?” She explains that it is, but the way he proposed made it sound like marrying her was “an obligation, a chore.” He never meant it to sound like that, but Catalina knows if it weren’t for the baby, they would not be together. Before she can accept the ring, Catalina says they have to get a few things straight. She reminds him that marriage is a lifetime commitment and that they have to be honest with each other about everything. She knows Tony still has feelings for Marah, regardless of what he says. He admits it is true, but things are different now. Catalina says that it makes her crazy when she can’t be certain where Tony’s heart is – she does stupid things. Her voice trails off, but she neglects to mention specifics. She says one day Tony will realize they were meant to be together. Catalina kisses her new fiance and asks him to make love to her. Tony makes excuses, saying they should ask the doctor first if it’s bad for the baby. There is a knock at the door, Tony rushes to answer it. Maria enters and sees Catalina. She starts to go ( to give them their privacy), but Tony stops her, welcoming the company. Maria sees the ring on Cat’s finger and congratulates the couple, adding, “Pretty soon you’ll give me another great-grandchild.” Tony comments, “Listen to her, she’s got it all planned out.” Maria offers champagne to celebrate. When Tony says they are all out, Catalina suggests they celebrate another time. Tony panics and decides to go buy some champagne. Catalina looks worried at Tony’s eagerness to get away.

Maria tells Cat she is happy for her. Catalina eyes her ring, “I’m glad someone does.” Catalina tells her grandmother-to-be that she may become a great-grandmother sooner than she thinks. Maria does not seem too happy with the idea of a baby out-of-wedlock, but she knows they will be married soon so “there will be no shame.” Catalina reminds Maria how she always said Cat was the right girl for her grandson. She admits she went off the pill and got pregnant knowing Tony would do the right thing and marry her. She even tricked Father Ray into helping her. Maria seems taken aback. “You didn’t think I had it in me, did you?… So, tell me, are you proud of me now?,” Catalina asks a speechless Maria. Maria pours tea for two as Catalina thanks her for looking after her. Maria says Catalina is “family” now and not to worry, “everything will work out.”

Marah repeats for Ben that it’s time she stopped hiding behind her essay and started living. She turns off the lights and locks the door. Outside the dorm room, two of Ben’s frat buddies listen intently, worried that they will lose their money if Ben scores with the “Virgin Queen.” One reassures the other, saying Marah will not “give it up” tonight. Back in Marah’s room, Ben takes off his shirt, knocking over a frame. He picks it up and stares at the happy family in the photo. He is mesmerized. Marah tries to get his attention and asks what’s wrong. He comments on how she looks so happy in the picture. Marah says she was 16 in that picture and she’s grown up a lot since then. Ben finally shakes it off and resumes kissing Marah, saying nothing is wrong. Marah stops him, admitting she knows something has been weighing on his mind lately and he shouldn’t be afraid to tell her what it is. Ben pulls away in denial. Marah thinks she knows what’s bothering him – whenever they talk about the important stuff, it’s always about Marah and her feelings, never about his. She
understands that they had similar childhoods – their parents were too wrapped up in their own lives to ask the kids how they felt. They were always expected to act like adults, and just once, it would have been nice to be a kid. Ben can’t believe someone finally understands what he’s been feeling. He hugs her, admitting he too wanted that perfect family in the photograph, but it was all an illusion. He kisses her again as if feeling it for the first time. His cell phone rings – it’s one of his fraternity brothers asking if he’s “done the deed” yet, reminding him that tonight was the night he promised to deliver. Ben hangs up the phone and tells Marah he has to go – the frat needs him right away. He grabs his shirt and jacket and hurries out the door. Marah is confused. Outside, Ben says a sincere, “I’m sorry.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1rHVeE0gug&list=PL9F0D554173FFF91D&index=65&feature=plpp_video (Part One)

Marah sits alone, looking at the picture when there is a knock at the door. When she sees Tony, she tells him he shouldn’t be there. He knows but he wants her to hear from him that he and Catalina are getting married. Marah tries to slam the door, but Tony stops her. He comes into the room and holds her as she cries, admitting she saw the ring at the dance and knew what he was planning. She stops her tears long enough to say they need to deal with this once and for all. “We both know why you came here tonight.” Marah guesses that Tony wants her to talk him out of it, but she refuses. She knows they did the right thing by not acting on their feelings, and he is doing the right thing by sticking with Catalina. Tony knows she is right, but says it will be impossible for him to live in the same town – what if he runs into her? Springfield represents Marah to him, so he decides he and Catalina have to leave – as soon as possible. Through more tears, Marah asks when she will see him again. A heartbroken Tony sincerely utters, “I don’t know. maybe never.” Marah starts after him, sobbing, but he is gone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc6w4p4bnqY&feature=relmfu (Part Two)

Thursday February 21, 2002

Tony suggests to Catalina that because of the Santos name, it might be a good idea for them to leave Springfield. Thrilled, she quickly agrees and assures him that she can go to college anywhere. Maria privately orders Tony to raise the baby in town.

Reva spends time with Marah urging her to forge ahead and forget about Tony.

Meanwhile, Ben calls off the bet with his fraternity brothers and warns them to stay away from her. However, he accidentally leaves his bet book behind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUTo7ZUHn2U&list=PL9F0D554173FFF91D&index=70&feature=plpp_video (Part One)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1UGfSgHefM&feature=relmfu (Part Two)

Friday February 22, 2002

Catalina packs for the move as Marah enters and asks if she can help. Catalina asks how Marah knew she was leaving. Marah says she saw the boxes and assumed. Catalina can’t believe Tony told Marah before he told his fiancée. Marah admits that Tony came to see her last night. However, she reminds her soon-to-be ex-roommate that her conversation with Tony was most likely the last one they’ll ever have because he and Cat are getting married . Catalina interrupts, screaming, “I’m sick of you reassuring me about Tony’s feelings! I’m not naive!”She is well aware that Tony wants to leave Springfield to get away from Marah.She admits it will be hard to compete with Tony’s feelings for Marah, but Catalina is certain, in time, she will be first and last in Tony’s heart. Marah asks Cat to promise she’ll make Tony happy.  Catalina plans on doing just that.  Marah attempts to help with the boxes, but Catalina snaps, saying Tony will come by later for the heavier ones. She leaves the room as Marah spots a (Ben’s)little black book on the floor. “Catalina won’t be needing this anymore,” she says as she throws it into an open box.

Tony arrives later to help Catalina move, but he is told he just missed his fiancée. Marah and Tony know this is goodbye for good. She wishes him luck as he starts to lift a box. Tony returns the sentiment – implying she’ll need luck with Ben around. Marah reminds him that Ben is a decent guy, but Tony never trusted him, just like she never trusted Catalina. But, she admits, Catalina saw what she wanted and went after it. Marah wishes she could be like that. Tony doesn’t want to argue about Catalina, because it’s just an excuse to fight what they are feeling for each other. Tony looks her in the eye and asks her to say she loves him. She doesn’t see the point, but Tony wants to hear it. She admits she loves him more than anything, but they can’t pretend that this baby doesn’t exist even though, in away she wishes it didn’t. Tony says he loves her too as Marah cries, seeing no way out.

At Company, Catalina finds Buzz and tells him the good news – she’s engaged and moving to Arizona with Tony. Buzz is weary of Catalina becoming a Santos, but he quickly keeps further thoughts to himself when he see Maria behind Catalina. Maria orders hot water for tea and sits with Catalina. Cat assures Maria that moving was Tony’s idea and she only wants him to be happy. Buzz brings the water and Maria makes their tea. Maria says that Catalina is a strong woman and now she knows what her granddaughter-to-be is capable of.

Ben finds Catalina leaving Company, and finds out the news. Ben is happy for her. Catalina implies that he is only happy for himself (with Tony out-of-the-way, Ben can have Marah
all to himself, and no one will tell Marah his “dirty little secret.”). Ben says the bet is off and that he paid the guys in his frat for their silence. Catalina cannot believe it’s no longer a game – Ben is actually falling in love with Marah. She is impressed. Suddenly, Ben grabs his backpack and searches frantically through it. Cat asks what he’s looking for – it’s as if “your life depends on it.” He says it’s nothing and tells Cat to take care and send him a baby picture from Arizona. “You got everything you want, now don’t look back,” he says as Catalina starts to leave. She stops, holding her stomach. Ben helps her to sit. “I think it’s the baby,” she says, starting to panic. She insists on finding Tony. Ben carries her out of Company.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mhic75dni34&feature=relmfu (Part One)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17gtofgSTy8&feature=relmfu (Part Two)

Monday February 25, 2002

In the ER at Cedars, Catalina fears the worst as Ben holds her hand and tries to reassure her. She reminds Ben that “this baby means everything to me… and to you, too.” Ben says he can get Marah on his own, he doesn’t need Cat to keep Tony occupied. He insists they’ll all be ok. Dr. Boudreau enters and Cat begs her to save her baby. Mel explains that Cat is experiencing premature labor, but she has given Cat an I.V. in order to stop the contractions. Her words are doubtful, however, and Cat picks up on that. “I have to keep this baby; it’s my whole world.” Ben tells her she won’t lose the baby, but the doctor says all they can do is wait and see. When Mel leaves the room, Catalina prays, “God, please don’t take my baby. Don’t punish it for the lies I told Tony.” Suddenly, Catalina sits up in pain, screaming, “Something’s wrong! I think I’m bleeding!” Ben looks terrified as he runs out to get help. Several nurses accompany Mel into Cat’s room to see that she is hemorrhaging and scared. They quickly take her to the OR for emergency surgery.

Catalina wakes up from the surgery and sees Mel beside her bed. Cat is confused and groggy as she asks what happened. Mel tries to be comforting as she apologizes for not being able to save the baby. Catalina cries helpless tears.

Alone in the dorm room, Tony professes his love for Marah, “I love you and you love me. Now that has to count for something.” Marah resists, she doesn’t see the point since they can never be together. Marah reminds him that he’s with Catalina.  Tony replies, “I’ll never really be with Catalina. Even if we move a million miles away it’s always going to be you. From that first moment I saw you at the club, I couldn’t get you out of my head. Your family, my family, nobody wanted us to be together, and still I can’t get you out of my head.” Remy comes to the door to return Catalina’s History book. He shakes Tony’s hand and says “Congratulations” and “I’m sure you’ll make a great father.” He comments that Catalina will be a great mother – she has good instincts. After he leaves, Tony apologizes for the interruption, but Marah welcomed it, saying Remy brought them back to reality – she and Tony are not the only two people in the world, though she’d prefer it that way. She agrees that Tony will be a great dad; she’s seen how good he is at taking care of the people he loves. She can’t hold back the tears any longer, as Tony says, “I never wanted any of this.” Marah reminds him that he has a family now and she is not a part of it. “You have to go,” she insists. But Tony doesn’t move. Marah says that family has to come first, and is frustrated that he can’t see it that way. “We can’t see each other anymore!” As she cries, Tony tells her how he never had a father growing up so he must be there for his child. He admits he loves this baby already… but he loves Marah too. “Well, you can’t have us both,” she reminds him. Tony looks trapped, blaming himself for all that has happened. Marah suggests that maybe it’s supposed to be this way. He can’t accept that, but she screams for him to leave. Shaking, Tony asks, “How do I say goodbye to you?” He asks Marah to promise she’ll always remember him as “someone who always cherished you.” Marah promises she will, as long as Tony leaves and never looks back. He promises as well.

In the hallway, Remy calls Mel at the hospital to find out what time they are meeting for dinner. Nurse Kathy tells him that Mel is in emergency surgery, while another nurse in the background asks Kathy for type A blood for a patient – Catalina Quesada. “Catalina?,” Remy asks, not sure if he heard correctly. Kathy hangs up in a hurry. Remy goes to Marah’s
room and tells Tony that he thinks Cat is in the emergency room. Tony is confused, but reaches for his cell phone. He gets nowhere on the phone, so he panics, looking for his keys. Marah sees the state he’s in and offers to drive him to the hospital.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRhb1OqhL7U&feature=relmfu

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